The Lonely Caregiver

The Truth About Caregivers Everybody Should Know

 

Caregiver spouses of dementia patients have a challenging and lonely existence. Most of the time, the person with dementia loses the ability to converse in any meaningful way. At the same time, that person cannot be left alone. Therefore, the caregiver becomes completely isolated, with no one to talk to and nowhere to go.

Lonely Caregiver

I remember one spouse saying that when she spoke to her husband, he had about the same response as their dog. Nothing. So, many caregivers have a real need for conversation and contact over and above even the average isolated person. 

Most friends and family are too busy to check on the caregiver on a daily or even weekly basis, and some caregivers report no one would know if they had died! And of course, the ill spouse would be of no help at all since they can’t even talk or use the phone or computer. Over time, they forget absolutely everything they ever learned and become childlike.

This is a dilemma for most people in that situation. I am sure that any caregiver with this problem would love to talk to one of a kind people who provide contact and conversation at Daily Care Calls

A phone call from a caring person whose job it is to initiate contact in order to check on the welfare of the isolated person and/or provide social connection can make a huge difference in the life of caregivers.

Some caregivers say: This is such a good question. I have found that I am the one who checks on myself. Other than a very occasional email from a friend or running into someone that I know in public, it is one of the only times that someone may ask, “How is your husband doing?” and sometimes, “How are you doing?”

And similarly, others say: I stayed home all the time. One day I telephoned a friend who was also a neighbor who lived opposite me. She asked me if I had gone out of town because she hadn’t seen me in a long while. I told her no that I had to stay home with my spouse. I realized right then that I could not rely on friends checking on me.”

Over and above the usual loneliness for caregivers of dementia spouses, there is the further isolation of the Covid-19 lockdowns. The road is easier when we are not alone.

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